I HAVE HAD ENOUGH

Just a short one today as so so so angry.  Hubby never takes me anywhere (think I may embarrass him now am disabled) but he took me to Asda.  I again did not get to look at anything I wanted as it is a quick march round.  He will NEVER let me take my electric wheelchair as it is too much hassle for him to get it in and out of car and would sooner I was in tons of pain trying to walk with crutches, with people staring at me cos I am panting and sweating so badly.  I bought the bloody chair to give me some independence yet am never allowed to use it.  I am so upset.  So frustrated.  It is as if he has turned into this horrible control freak instead of the loving caring man I married.  He does not think so but why should I have to ask if I can look at something.  I should not have to.  If I had my chair I could just wizz off and do what I want but he does not realise that me not having any independence is tearing me apart and no matter how many times I tell him he does not get it.

The only time I can go anywhere is if he takes me and when he does I have to be at his control.  It is so not fair.  All he would have to do is put chair in and out of car. Ok it would take him a couple of minutes each time BUT he would have a very happy wife.  I have so many presents to buy for xmas and have some money now to do it but cant as I am tied to his side.  (I cant pick things up to pay for them cos of bloody crutches).  My arms are so bad today I could not even lift the crutches off the floor and ended up dragging them.  He could clearly see this BUT never once even thought how I would be better off with my chair as it is an inconvenience to him.

I need to seriously think about my future and where it lays as I cannot keep going on like this.  I will be having a word with my OT and see if Social services can help me out a bit as I do think I am going to end up moving out and getting some independence as living with this controling person is doing my head in.  He is the only person I know that thinks cleaning the house consists of washing up what is right next to the sink and nothing else.  I still end up putting myself through agony to do it all as well as trying to work full time.  It just is so unfair