A waffle

Bloody chest infection is back and not letting up at all. To make it worse I also have yet another gum infection. I cannot get to the dentist as hubby is working and I really am in no fit state to drive. Mind you my dentist does not want to see me anyway until I get some of the pain under control as he cannot touch me without me screaming.

I have just found out I have to pay £350 excess on my insurance. I am so angry. Why should I pay just because some woman was not paying attention and changed lanes without looking in front of her 1st. Grrrr

I have missed a few days of blogging because my hands were so bad I could not type properly. My brain could not think of anything to write either so was no use asking hubby to type for me. I had lots to tell you all but it seems my memory wants to pretend it is on crack and has lost all cognitive thought.

I have started to become very aware lately that my spatial awareness is not quite what I thought it was. Not good at all. I keep tripping over things that I think are a distance away from me. Steps are a killer. Trying to come down when you are not sure where the next step is hurts. Yep, you guessed it, I was practicing my stuntman moves this morning and rolled down the last 7 stairs. A lovely view for my neighbours as the blinds were open. I was only wearing a bathrobe as wearing anything in bed is burning torture. SO I am laid at bottom of stairs, head down and bare arse and girlie bits on full view. It took me over 15mins to get upright again. I dont know if anyone saw me but do not want to know either. My poor neighbours.

Well hubby at work so it is another day stuck indoors until he comes home. Thankfully he is finishing early today as I have Physio and need to be taken to hospital.
This bit is the joke. If you know Derby hospital (the new one) you will know how bloody big it is. A healthy person will take 10 - 15 mins to walk from one end to the other so someone like me would never be able to do it. So what do the designers do? They build the rehabilitation unit at the very far end of the hospital.

Ok they do have vehicles to drive you down but that again is embarrassing. everyone knows if you are on one of them you are disabled and the bloody driver is constantly beeping the horn so everyone looks at you. Trying to get transport back to the entrance though is a nightmare and my Physio normally has to take me herself which she gets quite annoyed about. so today hubby is taking me so at least he can push me there and back in my own chair.

I know I have paragraphs on here were there should not be but it is for me and other Fibro/ME sufferers who cannot read big blocks of writing. Sounds a silly thing doesnt it but when your main hobby has always been reading it is a big thing. I was an avid reader, I loved Terry Pratchett and was also a big fan of Patricia Cornwell. Unfortunately books are not written for people like me and I can no longer read a book.

I have found a site online that lets you read books on there that only have about 20 sentences to a page which means I can read a little now and then but it is frustrating as I tend to forget what I have read anyway. Arghh, I used to read a book in two hours and sometime 3 an evening. I cannot comprehend how now I cannot manage at all. I feel as if I am losing my mind and really do worry I have Alzheimer's and not Fibro.

The nightly vomiting is still there even though I have pills to stop sickness. I hate vomiting out of my nose as it burns. I have been suffering badly from dizzy spells as well. It is hard to describe as its not just a dizzy feeling. My head feels weak and dizzy, my insides feel as if they are shaking, i feel sick and have on a few occasions actually passed out. My sugar levels have been checked and it is not that so I have app at Docs on Friday and I am going to insist that he finds out what is wrong as I am sick of everything being put down to Fibro when I know it isnt.

I guess now Docs think as I have this condition they do not need to look for anything else as they can put everything down to it. Sorry but that is NOT going to happen anymore. For too long I have let them just ignore me basically. It has taken me years just to get them to realise I had something wrong as the symptoms were mild for quite a while. It was only when the pain got so bad that a doc sent me in to hospital as my temp was too high as well. I am no longer going to sit and act like everything they say is gospel as I now know that half of them just cannot be arsed doing their jobs.

To anyone who has a condition do not allow docs to put every other thing you have wrong with you under the same condition. It often is nothing to do with it.

I am going to fill out my Dla forms soon but am going to get disability direct to do them with me as they know how to fill them out. I have decided I am going to fight them all the way as I know damn well they will refuse it to start with. I may be in pain, I may be emotionally and physically drained but I will no longer sit down and let anyone walk all over me. I have read and re read their guidelines and I am entitled. I cannot walk more than 50ft at all. I cannot dress myself most days. I cant even lift the kettle let alone a saucepan, between the shakes and the weak arms I would end up in hospital. I tried it not long ago and spilt alot of boiling water. I was just lucky I was on my perching stool so my legs were out of the way or I would have had nasty burns.

Oops this turned out longer than I thought so I had better sign off and sit and stare at daytime TV, omg why cant they put anything decent on during the day.